And the 80s said, “let there be fantasy movies,” and there were fantasy movies, and they were good. Well, they weren’t really. But lo, raise thy flagon to the 80s, for through the mists of legendry* (*actual phrase from the movie) they bring us The Sword and the Sorcerer!
Before George R.R. Martin ever Gamed a Throne, The Sword and the Sorcerer had a witch bringing forth a hideous monster, a noble family of good guys getting wiped out, and even a Red Wedding! Or at least a Magenta Wedding. It also has a three-bladed sword that shoots blades, the kind of idea that seems like it could only have been pitched by an 8 year old boy right after the phrase “You know what would be COOL?”
Follow the adventures of our hero, Talon, a rogue/warrior/buccaneer/general/upholsterer/freelance architect/hooker with a heart of gold, as he gets vengeance and shoots his sword and swings on ropes and whatnot, y’know, hero stuff.
This movie is crazy! It’s from the guy who made “Alien from L.A.” and stars the “nose to anus” guy from “Werewolf” and best of all, Reb Brown, AKA Big McLargehuge from “Space Mutiny”!
Beast of the Yellow Night!No, it’s not a cleverly-named Simpsons Treehouse of Horror segment, it’s a movie! A movie about a man named Langdon and his deal with the devil. Langdon’s deal doesn’t involve a fiddle made of gold, it’s more about turning into a monster with a face straight out of the mask section at Spencer’s Gifts. Also the devil is not so much the traditional “pitchfork and horns” type, he’s more of a fat ghost with a bad hairline who travels with his own fog machine. And the fog machine seems to break down a lot. But hey, are you a fan of “yellow nights”??? Because the movie doesn’t actually have any of those.
As far as we can tell, Langdon is some kind of undead murder spirit, sent by the fat devil ghost to do evil stuff at different points in history. Like Quantum Leap, but with slightly more cannibalism. This incarnation finds him in a beautiful home, with a beautiful wife, but rather than asking himself “how did I get here?” or just enjoying this luxurious life, he gets mad and ruins it all. If none of this is making sense, keep in mind the filmmakers didn’t even bother to specify a setting for their movie more clearly than “A Country in Southeast Asia.”
Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill in going completely mad trying to figure out what exactly is supposed to be happening inBeast of the Yellow Night!
Available now from Rifftrax!
Get a load of this cast of characters: Mousey. Jasper. Hacker. Dumpy. Bart. Chica. Betty. O’Leary. The Neanderthal.
Now tell me you don’t want to see our latest: Dinosaurus.
"My, I bet you monsters lead interesting lives. I said to my girlfriend just the other day - Gee, I’ll bet monsters are interesting, I said. The places you must go and the places you must see, my stars! And I’ll bet you meet a lot of interesting people, too. I’m always interested in meeting interesting people."
As a kid I had no idea what the joke was here but I loved it so much.
To that: I’ve never bought it when executives would complain, “It’s too obscure, you need to make it relevant to today’s 18-34…” etc. Nonsense. A child of five can understand the dynamic here and that something funny is going on and still enjoy it. The kid doesn’t then complain to mother, “I know it’s funny but is it relevant to my age group?” Especially if there are older siblings laughing.
Bugs is a towering legend.
After 8 years, RiffTrax finally has a kickass animated intro song, courtesy Jonathan Coulton and Harry Partridge. My favorite part is identifying all the weird characters we’ve done over the years when they show up at the guy’s house. Any party where you can sit on a couch in between The Guy From Harlem and the Ice Cream Bunny is one I’d want to attend.
Boy am I happy with this.
Ok, even though I risk being shameless about my praise, this being a “RiffTrax” thing: Harry’s animation is so great and Jonathan’s song is typically brilliant and wears well after the 100th + hearing.
But, no pun intended, I don’t know what to make of this MST reference. Reference? Homage? Dis? I’m not sure.
Kevin Murphy and I chatted briefly about it and we suspect there MAY have been substances involved.
Let the work speak for itself. Though note, you have been warned.
Tension mounts in the RiffTrax Live: Godzilla war room
Thanks to all who attended our Rifftrax Live: Godzilla show.
An anecdote, if you’ll permit me.
This photo was at a script meeting that took place two days before the show and our rented room was adjacent to some sort of Real Estate meeting or something. Writer Sean Thomason and I ducked out for a coffee and saw, as it turned out, the keynote speaker yell at some poor hotel attendant carrying a tray, “WHERE’S THE BATHROOM?!?!” in a tone that suggested, “Where did you tricky, lesser people hide the facilities?” or “Why, when I, a man who owns cufflinks that cost more than your yearly rent, needs to urinate, does a urinal not appear before me, clad in gold leaf, you whelp?!”
Anyway, we took a break about four hours later and passed the room in which he was STILL speaking; three hundred people who looked as though they could not endure another miserable second watched as this clown droned on about something that sounded to me like, “Business business business, circle back, drill down, business business, change our head-set, business, contract for deed, business!”
So that’s the kind of guy who deserves to have bathrooms NOW in places he expects them to be, not in other places, damn it!