Submitted: Why did the chicken cross the road? is the worst joke ever written. Is it some sort of obscure meta-commentary on poultry humor? Is it pure, naked cynicism; or a kind of tired, petulant world weariness (what the Germans call Weltschmerz)? This, essentially, is the way the joke works: “Here’s a set-up with a touch of whimsy.”"Oh, I like it. I can’t wait to hear the imaginative answer!""Go to hell. You were a fool for hoping."Or am I reading too much into it and it’s just lazy, horrible joke writing? Please advise.

Submitted: Why did the chicken cross the road? is the worst joke ever written. 

Is it some sort of obscure meta-commentary on poultry humor? Is it pure, naked cynicism; or a kind of tired, petulant world weariness (what the Germans call Weltschmerz)? 

This, essentially, is the way the joke works: “Here’s a set-up with a touch of whimsy.”

"Oh, I like it. I can’t wait to hear the imaginative answer!"

"Go to hell. You were a fool for hoping."

Or am I reading too much into it and it’s just lazy, horrible joke writing? Please advise.

Superheroes + Christmas = FUN

billcorbett:

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My new comic book SUPER-POWERED REVENGE CHRISTMAS wants you to read it!  Available in all sorts of newfangled ways HERE:

SUPER-POWERED REVENGE CHRISTMAS

People have really been enjoying it, and I am very grateful (and relieved). 

You are a people, you may enjoy it too! 

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The more I see of Len Peralta's artwork, the luckier I feel that he did Super-Powered Revenge Christmas with me.

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rifftrax:

Hawk the Slayer (RiffTrax Preview) http://www.rifftrax.com/hawk-the-slayer

If you took a Dungeons & Dragons adventure written hastily by an 8th grader during study hall and turned it into a movie, you’d wind up with something a lot like Hawk the Slayer. In fact, we wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how they actually got the script. But this movie has something that no D&D adventure can claim: Jack Palance. A whole lot of Jack Palance. Specifically MEGA-EVIL Jack Palance, playing a character named Voltan. He yells, kills, yells, whisper-threatens, whisper-yells, kills, and mostly just yells his way across the countryside. Seems no one can stop him until his brother Hawk - yes, his brother, despite being about 40 years younger - gathers an elf, a dwarf, and a giant to take him down. Not as much dignity as a Fellowship of the Ring, more of a… Crew of the Stuff.

Keen-eyed fans may recognize the dwarf from our release Prisoners of the Lost Universe. Also, the actor playing Hawk went on to portray Jack’s dad in Lost — hmmm, Prisoners of the LOST Universe, LOST, time to dig up your old Lost conspiracy theories because there’s something happening here, IT’S ALL CONNECTED.

Join Mike, Kevin and Bill for a heaping helping of Jack the Palance and Hawk the Slayer!

In time for Thanksgiving we are releasing probably my favorite bad film since I got into the bad film game. To call it a “film” is to give it too much credit, but it is such an insanely glorious accident that mere human words cannot describe it. I acknowledge that it’s not for everyone. That is, yes, it is really really bad when judged by the standards of being a thing that people should want to watch. 

All that said, please enjoy this preview:

doomsdaypicnic:

I figured out what the new Rifftrax is going to be, thanks to the tweet at the top from @clastowka. I’m not going to blab about what it is, but these gifs are all from that film. It is a-mazing. It’s the kind of ooky, unsettling combination of scary madness and skin-chewing tedium rarely seen outside of films about Scarlett Johansson driving around in a white van collecting Scottish pelts. And about half the film is footage of a public event so boring, so ineptly shot and edited that the only thing you can imagine possibly justifying its preservation on film is that it’s an important piece of evidence in some horrible unsolved crime. 

This movie makes me happier than almost any other that exists.

kwmurphy:

lastowka:

RiffTrax and Peanuts, together at last! And maybe not for the last time, he added cryptically…

We are now officially able to be mashed. http://mashable.com/2014/10/14/great-pumpkin-charlie-brown-rifftrax/

lastowka:

Here’s a few of the jokes we’ve made at their expense over the years:

Mike 16:43 Watching this mission get underway, feeling the impending sense of doom…I now know how the dozens of people in the stands at Kansas City Royals opening day feel

Mike 54:23 (pole falls) Well, that took what, 80…

For no reason other than it’s hard to hate the Kansas City Royals, we at RiffTrax have taken a lot of shots at them over the years. Mostly just as a comedy writer thing, that is, driving way out of your way, straining really hard, “torturing a joke” is another way to put it, in order to insult something about which you really couldn’t possibly feel that strong. 

So to make amends for our arbitrary decision I give you a small selection of our jokes, out of context, culled by RiffTrax writer (and disappointed Nats fan) Conor Lastowka.

Probably my favorite moment from any movie we’ve even done. In the spirit of Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, my highest compliment, we’re writing it now and it’ll come out just in time for Thanksgiving.
http://www.rifftrax.com/santa-and-the-ice-cream-bunny

Probably my favorite moment from any movie we’ve even done. In the spirit of Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, my highest compliment, we’re writing it now and it’ll come out just in time for Thanksgiving.

http://www.rifftrax.com/santa-and-the-ice-cream-bunny

doomsdaypicnic:

Rifftrax: R.O.T.O.R (1987/2014)

From Rifftrax:

R.O.T.O.R. could be described as The Room meets Cyborg Cop 2, and if that makes any sense to you at all then you know how excited we are about it!

It’s an embarrassment of riches, where to begin? Our hero Captain J.B. Coldyron, police robotics genius and ranch owner, whose dialogue was all dubbed by a different actor and written by a different species? The goofy office robot who somehow possesses more sophisticated intelligence than the dangerous “advanced” prototype on the loose, aka R.O.T.O.R.? Or what the acronym R.O.T.O.R. itself stands for: Robotic Officer of the Tactical Operations Research. Yes, the last word in the killer police robot’s name is Research, for some reason. Except later in the movie, when it suddenly stands for Reserve instead. Why? If you want an explanation, you’d better ask Shoeboogie, the wacky Native American janitor who loves to dance. Actually, don’t ask Shoeboogie anything, it’s probably best to avoid all eye contact with Shoeboogie.

Coldyron! Research! Shoeboogie! If you say those words real fast they kind of sound like a song, but they’re also three of the many reasons you should join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for the wonder of wonders that is R.O.T.O.R.!

Commence Operations Research immediately by going to Rifftrax and downloading or streaming the truly amazing film that Joe Bob Briggs called ‘Texas Robocop’. Also take time to appreciate the new design on the site and try not to be bewildered and scared by change, like what I was.

Tom Bombadil posting a nude photo of Goldberry on Instagram.

Tom Bombadil posting a nude photo of Goldberry on Instagram.